WOHM, SAHM, WAHM--My Perspective


*The Definitions:
WOHM--Work Outside of the Home Mom

Non-Mom Meaning: A mother that kills herself daily to meet the expectations of an employer, her family and society all the while suffering from the extreme guilt that she's not doing enough for any of them.

SAHM--Stay At Home Mom
Non-Mom Meaning: A woman that kills herself daily to provide for her family while sacrificing her identity and sanity all the while suffering from the extreme guilt that she's not doing enough for them.

WAHM--Work At Home Mom
Non-Mom Meaning: A woman that kills herself daily to better her family's financial situation all the while maintaining the traditional family structure and suffering from the extreme guilt that she's not doing enough for them.


     I had a Facebook friend post the very offensive (to me) cartoon above and I really don't care that she posted it. To each their own. But I feel that I have a perspective that most mother's today don't have. I've been a WOHM to three kids. I've been a SAHM to three kids. And I'm currently a WAHM of three kids. And in MY experience I think that being a SAHM is WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY harder! Fact is, when I worked (outside the home) my house was cleaner, I still cooked pretty much every night and I was probably a better parent.
     Now that I'm home, I feel the stresses of being the primary caregiver to my children, maintaining my home without the benefit of my I'm-sure-she-was-legal-Guatemalan-cleaning-lady, and the added stress of starting up a business all the more. Added to the "normal" Mommy stress I get to battle isolation, societies views on what "mommy duties" include, lowered self-esteem and the fact that I no longer have any sorts of benefits package (pay, sick days, vacation, etc.). So I really love it when a mommy from any of the above categories decides to take a pot shot at me or my ilk.
     I really think that the time we spend tearing each other down, because we are trying to minimize our own Mommy guilt (or jealousy for the life-style the other is living), could be better spent. Perhaps by building each other up? So please before you post some witty, bon mot aimed at making someone else feel like crap, take a moment to step into their shoes. And while you're there, offer to lend a hand or at least an ear and PA-LEEZE leave the self-righteous judgement at the door.

Peace Out!
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