The Revenge of Tiny Cowboy!

In a town of less than 5000, it was only a matter of time before someone informed Tiny Cowboy about me and my blog posts, and he finally enacted his revenge. Apparently, today was that day because this morning at school drop off, Tiny Cowboy tried to kill me.

Ya'll remember Tiny Cowboy, right? He's a miniature, flame-haired Sasquatch, who insists on wearing a cowboy hat, boots and typically shorts of some sort, everywhere he goes. 

Now it's more than possible that he wasn't trying to RAM ME WITH HIS F&*#ING TRUCK, in the school drop off lane. It's possible that the phone book he sits on while driving, so he can see over the steering wheel, slipped. Or maybe, his abundant auburn body hair blew over his eyes and he didn't see me or the stop sign he blew through. Or maybe, just maybe, he is trying to kill me.

The drop off, at our school, consists of both an inside and outside lane of traffic. After dropping the kids off, you travel down the front of the building, in one of these two lanes. The inside lane has a stop sign and must yield to the continuously moving traffic of the outside lane. The outside lane doesn't stop. I repeat, the INSIDE lane stops and yields to the outside lane! This isn't rocket science, people.

But apparently, fun-size, ginger, Sasquatches yield for no one, because even though I was in the outside lane and attempting to make the turn around the building, Tiny Cowboy felt the need to gun his truck and squeal past me and the startled crossing guard. If this wasn't bad enough, TC drove down the center of the split turn lane exiting the parking lot, without using his turn signal, effectively blocking both lanes of traffic and confusing many of the drivers. His erratic driving continued once we'd exited the school zone and included crossing the center line, turning without signalling and rolling through a four way stop.

Now it's possible that when his assignation attempt failed, his driving was merely a result of his attempt to make a clean getaway, or maybe both TC's turn signals and brakes aren't working! But more than likely, Tiny Cowboy just can't drive. Either way I know that I will be looking over my shoulder because as long as He's out there, the roadways just aren't safe.

Don't know about Tiny Cowboy? Or just want to relieve the funny? Check out the series.
Social Media: I have a stalker(s)...
I'm Sorry, But Can We Pretend We've Never Met?
Avoidance, Thy Name is Mommy!

Peace Out!
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