I'm just frustrated. I've had a really dramatic weight loss thus far. I'm down better than 10% of my original weight--over 30 lbs! That's wonderful! I've worked hard to get here... and now... I feel like I've hit a wall. I'm frustrated. I'M. SO. FRUSTRATED.
I wonder if my problem is mental. I'm obviously overweight for a reason. There's obviously a mental disconnect. Otherwise, why can I stick to a "diet" for a couple of months--with zero issues and then for no reason at all, I just can't do it anymore? What is it in my head that needs me to put up these barriers? Because I know that that's what this weight is, a barrier between me and everyone and everything.
I know that I would be happier if I were healthier. I know that I would feel more confidant about myself and my abilities if I were healthier. I know I would be healthier if, instead of stuffing whatever is keeping me from reaching my goal weight, I felt it and yet I turn to food.
And I also wonder if this is just my body readjusting to my new weight? Based on other times that I've lost weight, I know that I often reach a point that my body seems to need to regulate itself. I plateau for a couple of weeks and then start losing again. Maybe that's all this is....
The only thing I am certain of is that trying to lose weight sucks and that sometimes I just want to quit. Like constantly. But then I look at myself in the mirror and I can almost see someone that I remember. I want to see that person again. It's been a really long time since I recognized myself. Too long. It's time to win this battle.
Current Weight: 277.6 lbs Weight Loss: 31.6 lbs
Peace Out!
It might help to note that these posts are always about two weeks behind. The only way to have my up to the moment weight total is to follow me on Twitter. I update my results on Thursdays.
