Preschool Television Can SUCK IT!

I have prepared a statement for the producers of every preschool television network out there. 
You can kiss my ASS!

       Ok, that might have been a little harsh but I really wish that preschool television would quit teaching my children that I'm a bad Mommy. Its entire purpose in life seems to be pointing out my inadequacies as a parent. And I've had it.
 Today my children informed me that they should be bathing NIGHTLY. As in every night. They got this tidbit from Dora-the-Chinese-Mouse-ka-mover. Now look, it's true I don't give the children baths daily--especially in the summer months and the reason for this is very simple I don't have the energy we go to the pool daily. My children spend at least an hour of every, single, day in the pool. That's just like an hour long bath! And before you say something about the chlorine/salt in the pool please note that after their swim we have an (usually) ice cream snack and then get hosed off--so it gets rinsed off of them. 
       I also got informed that they should be brushing their teeth twice a day. Ok. I'll give them that one but you know what? I spend 12-14 uninterrupted hours a day with my kids with ZERO time off. There are some nights that I just want them to go to bed so that the shrieking will just stop! And besides, those are just the baby teeth anyway! They're just gonna fall out!
       And if by now it isn't obvious to everyone that preschool television is evil, than let me leave you with the notion that the children now believe that not only am I failing in my duties as a parent, but also as a "green" citizen. I've already admitted that I'm not the least bit concerned about living a green life. (And I've read a lot of your blogs about how you are making it work and good for you! It sounds like your doing my part too.) I know this little revelation is pretty much tantamount to hate speech to some of you but until they make it to where it's convenient, or at least doesn't cost me money to do, than it's just not happening. In most places of the civilized world recycling saves you money--many cities will cover the cost of trash service as long as you recycle; that is not the case here in Podunk, USA. Our only option for trash service actually charges you extra to pick up your recyclables! And if Diego-the-purple-flying-dog has something to say about that, then he needs to quit being a little bitch manipulating my children and come on over here and tell me himself!
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