Kids' Parties: What the Hell Happened There?

     I remember when I was a kid and I got that brightly colored invitation in the mail; it was so exciting, having a birthday party to look forward to. Visions of pretty dresses, goody bags, cake and party games danced in my head for days or weeks until the big day arrived.
     I'd be just VIBRATING in the front seat of our family truckster (it's ok, kids rode in the front seat back then), like a neurotic clogger, as we pulled up to my friend's house (or the park) and I'd be out that door and in the midst of all of the birthday happenings, barely looking back to see if my mom had the car parked. There would be the requisite party games, crafts and chatter, while all of the moms stood around the periphery of the party doing... whatever moms did, and when it was all said and done I would leave the party in a sugar coma. It was awesome!

Myriam's 7th birthday.

Flash forward to now and guess what? NONE of that seems to happen.

     I've spent the past school year and summer attending kids' parties and this is what I've learned: I'm just about the only parent there. In fact, these mommies barely slow down before they've opened the door of their SUVs and kicked their kids out. I'm not exaggerating when I say that many don't even stay to ensure their offspring make it into the house or Showbiz Pizza (Yes, I know it's called Chucky Cheese now.) before pealing off down the road. And believe me when I say that there is nothing more uncomfortable then getting the stink eye from that SuperMom/hostess because I have the audacity to monitor her child's party. (If you are that Mom/hostess, I'm not here for the cake, kay? But offering a tiny party cup of lemonade would be appreciated.)

     In case you are those parents ditching leaving your brood in the care of the hostess and can't understand why I wouldn't, I have a short list of reasons for you.

• I kinda feel that because I birthed these kids that I'm responsible for their behavior. You shouldn't be put into a position to parent my kids for me.
• Because I'm anti-social I don't always know the people that are throwing the party. And I'm sorry but if I don't know you that means I don't trust you. 
• My daughter's autistic. I don't know if you (the Mom/hostess) knows that or not and I can't guarantee how she will respond in a party situation.
• Even though my daughter is only 7 years old, there is already a set of little bitches mean girls and I'm not afraid to correct their behavior.
• I'd like to socialize too! So on the off chance ANY of ya'll stick around, I'd love to talk to another adult chat.

     So I don't know when the trend of Dump-N-Go began. I find it to be very sad. I think all of you that practice this or promote it (Yes, I'm talking to you, Stink-Eye-Mom!) are missing out on something. You are missing out on an opportunity to meet and mingle and help to celebrate a milestone in one family's life and if you're the hostess you're missing out of free help cleaning up. 

This isn't progress, folks.

Peace Out!
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