Prompt 4: Write about something that complicates your life
chiar·oscu·ronoun (An Italian term that literally means light-dark)
- pictorial representation in terms of light and shade without regard to color
- the arrangement or treatment of light and dark parts in a pictorial work of art or the interplay or contrast of dissimilar qualities (as of mood or character)
- a 16th century woodcut technique involving the use of several blocks to print different tones of the same color; also: a print made by this technique
- the interplay of light and shadow on or as if on a surface
- the quality of being veiled or partly in shadow
I can't get away from this smell. It's a chemical-ly smell and it's nauseating. It singes my nose and makes this headache, behind my eyes, sting and throb. And this metal taste in my mouth just won't go away, no matter how many times I brush my teeth, swig mouthwash or how much gum I chew. The headache is all consuming, making it hard to think, speak, write or function. All I want to do is hide under the blankets and cry and sleep.
No this isn't a migraine, although like a migraine, OTC pain meds do little to nothing to alleviate the symptoms. This is anxiety. I know this because I've had anxiety issues before. When I was pregnant with my daughter, Myriam I used to get panic attacks occasionally and they always started like this. They're overwhelming and painful.
I've had the headache for over two weeks now, with no end in sight. Right now I can keep the fear and sadness at bay by shear strength of my will and distraction. As long as I can keep busy.... It's only at night--when I'm alone, that I can't keep the dark at bay and then the fear washes over me, consumes me. It paralyzes me. What will become of us? How do I continue when the money, we worked so hard to save, is gone? How do I continue to provide for my family?
For those just joining us, the Hubby is currently unemployed. He had a second interview last week but we won't know anything for awhile. There is hope. There is light at the end of the dark. I can only hope this is the one, the right job, the open window after the door closes. Keep us in your prayers.