Writer's Workshop: A Quandary Over Pierced Ears

1.) If I could tell my teenage self...

     I've wanted children for as long as I can remember and when I was a teen I always knew that I would have them. I always said that I was going to wait until my late 30's to have children because then I would be better prepared mentally and finacially to have said fictional children. And for the most part I followed my plan but if you've been reading this blog for awhile, I think we've established that I am in NO way equipped to parent the three children I got. I just don't know enough, understand enough and I just don't have the maturity, patience or instincts to be a great parent. Unfortunately, no one ever realizes this about themselves until after they HAVE the children.
     It probably doesn't help that (I think) the problems and concerns that I'm faced with today are WAY more complicated than the problems of even 30 years ago. I mean we have all of the same issues my parents worried about, drugs, teenage pregnancy, and STDs to name a few but now I also have to worry about autism, allowing my child to express themselves in a judgement free environment and what to do when they choose to go goth.

What's a parent to do?

     So here's the deal; the purpose of all of this soul searching. My 5 year old son Logan, wants to get his ears pierced and as far as I can tell this isn't a passing phase. I'm sure that ya'll remember that Myriam got her ears pierced a little over a month ago. Well, a couple weeks after, Logan started hinting around that he wanted to get his ears pierced too but very quickly the hinting turned into flat our asking. It's been over a month folks and he's getting a little obnoxious about it. And a month in the life of a 5 year old is like almost a year to an adult! (Really. The Hubby did the math, he's all smart like that.) Imagine wanting something for an entire year!



     Ok, now here's the part I'm having problems with: we've told him no and he has pointed out the double standard. He's a smart one! The only thing that has kept him at bay for the moment is telling him that Myriam was older but you can tell that excuse is wearing thin. I hate the double standard! And to add insult to injury, if it had been Porter who wanted his ears pierced I'd have been all for it.
     I know it's crazy but Porter seems to know his mind better than Logan and if someone were to tease Porter about having earrings he'd tell them they were "tupid" and "not [his] best friend," shove them and continue with whatever he was doing. Logan on the other hand would be devastated. He has a sensitive, little soul.
     The other factor in all of this is that we live in Podunk, Kansas; a small rural community in the middle of the Bible belt. Conservative. Snotty. Judgemental. Add all that to the normal mean kid behaviors that go on everywhere, and it's a recipe for devastation.
     So I'm a hypocrite. *sigh* Not only will I let my daughter have pierced ears but I would let ONE of my sons. I know I'm a hypocrite. Logan knows I'm a hypocrite--that's the worst part! I'm not allowing it because I don't want him to get hurt because honestly, I don't care if pierces his ears. I figure he will do it eventually. The Hubby did! Does doing the wrong thing for the right reasons count for anything?
     If I had just known then, that this "advanced maternal age" didn't mean sqat.... I guess that when it's all said and done a child's real purpose is the screw with a parent's head!

(Sorry Mom.)
Peace Out!
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