Water, Water, Everywhere. But Not a Drop to Drink....

     SO! I learned a couple of things on Monday. One, the city of Podunk closes at 4:30 PM and if you call at 4:32 not only will they NOT answer the phone but they won't get back to you until you march your (and your 3 childrens') happy ass(es) down to the office to speak to someone. And two, Podunk practices "diversity" by hiring dyslexics.

*This is rant. Logic and common sense have no place here. Typically in a rant, exaggeration and wide sweeping blame are thrown around liberally. Don't say I didn't warn ya....

     Up until 4:32 PM everything was completely normal in the Mommy Household. Moments earlier we had returned from a fun-filled day with Nana that involved a trip to Wally World, lunch and an afternoon spent poolside. As I rushed around to hang drippy swimsuits, fetch clean underwear and fix a snack, I flushed the toilet (Because for some reason my children can't flush the damn toilet after they use it. Ew!) and thought it sounded funny, but frankly as long as it's not acting like a sewage bidet, who has time to ponder the sound of toilets flushing? I mean, really.

     It wasn't until after I had given the children their popcorn and gotten settled in my comfy chair and booted up the laptop that the children began the incessant requests for drinks, a different snack and for me to change the channel--because that's how kids work; they wait until you are elbow deep in a project or comfortable to start hounding you for stuff, that I realized that our water had been shut off. NOW the toilet sound made all the sense in the world!
     After a brief WTF moment, I called the Hubby to make certain the water bill had been paid, because although we've never missed a payment, now that the Hubby is out of work it was the first thing that ran through my mind. He assured me it had but if I needed to be sure, this month's bill (which is due on the tenth) was sitting on the counter. Check and see if the bill's for one or two months, he said. It was one. And that's when I called the City Works and found out that they had closed two minutes earlier. I WAS directed to their emergency line. Which apparently isn't answered and the messages never checked.
     So the Mommy Household was going to be water-less. All. Night. Long. Which honestly, wouldn't be that big of a deal if my children didn't think that they need to go to the bathroom every 3.2 seconds. And then there is the whole this-is-the-THIRD-time-the-city-has-turned-off-my-water-even-though-I've-paid-my-bill. I decided that the children and I would be better served staying at Nana's house for the night. The Hubby stayed home because he was going to show up at City Hall bright and shiny and demand to have our water turned back on.

     *Bonus learning experience: "Bright and shiny" means something completely different to the Hubby I've learned. Because to me it means being there when the office opens at 7:30 AM but to the Hubby it means closer to 9.

     Needless to say, as it turns out the guy who turned our water off transposed the numbers on the work order. He was supposed to turn off the water of the guy TEN BLOCKS away. And like I said before, this isn't the first time he's done this to me.

In conclusion:

To the City of Podunk,
If you're going to hire someone that's dyslexic, please make sure that someone who ISN'T checks the work order before sending him to shut off the water.
Please and thank you.

And to the a$$hole ten blocks away,
PAY YOUR DAMN BILL! I'm tired of getting my water shut off, a$$!
Peace Out!
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