The Worry

     The Hubby is still out of work. I've done my best to keep everything light and chipper around the blog and here at home, but I've had a really hard time keeping that up the last few days. The worry and panic is starting to set in. And I know the tension's affecting the children too. Their behavior has been off the charts HORRIBLE, which then causes my stress level to go up, which in turn begets worse behavior.... We're spiraling out of control over here.

**This post is just a disjointed compilation of my stressers and fears. Maybe if I put it out there I can work past it. That's the hope anyway.**

• The majority of the stress is stemming from the impending start of school. New teachers, new routines, new expenses, school fees, school supplies, doctors' appointments fees, dentists'  fees... Oh God, Logan probably needs glasses.... *sob*
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• I love my school district but the price I pay for living in an affluent area (We have never been "affluent," we just happen to live in the second richest county in the state.) and having a wonderful district is staggering. Especially when unemployment can't even pay the mortgage and temp jobs are... well, temporary. 
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• I'm scared and I don't really have anyone to talk to about my fears. The Hubby is working very hard both looking for a job and taking any temp job that presents itself that I feel guilty burdening him further. I know he has the same fears I do and I don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does. 
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• And I'm angry. I'm angry at people who abuse the system and get all kinds of help when we won't "qualify" for anything. I hate that we worked and sacrificed and saved and now because we did the right things we get punished. We lived within our means, we have little debt (the mortgage basically), we tried to put money away for a rainy day. Unfortunately it's a downpour....
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• But most of all, I'm scared about what happens when we can't pay the mortgage and the bills are too much. We aren't there yet but every day we inch closer. 
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• And since I'm bitching, I am SO sick of deer burger Helper! (Hamburger Helper made with ground venison. The Hubby hunts so we have a freezer full of venison.) When we get back on our feet I will never eat this crap again. *said like Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind*

**BTW The Hubby has an interview today; his third in two weeks. So things are looking up. I only usually panic at the end of the crisis, so I'm hoping that my current state means we are at the end of this God awful journey.**

Peace Out!