It took a year for me to come to terms with what the diagnosis really meant for my family. And you know what I discovered? It didn't change anything really. We have more doctor's appointments, we qualify for more "services" at school. Myriam has more teachers/therapists than the average student. We also have more people to name in our prayers at night. I've grown to realize that autism doesn't change who my daughter is or how much I love her. I've also gotten to the point where I realize that I probably wouldn't want the autism taken away because it would change who Myriam is fundamentally--and I love who she is. I've come to see that autism begets a creativity that I never knew existed, and I never want that to go away. *
Myriam is now a Kindergartner. She can read, add and subtract. She has friends and will often try to speak with people she doesn't know--some of her interactions don't go as planned but she's trying. I'm proud of her accomplishments and the person she's becoming. My daughter loves school and the team of educators, administrators and therapists are extraordinary. She's made gains this year that are incredible and we expect nothing but the best for her.
I no longer cry every day. I seldom think about that fictional child that I grieved so piteously for a year ago. My days aren't as hard. I now see a bright future ahead for my daughter; although I have no idea what that future might entail, I'm sure it will be glorious.
Peace Out!
*Don't get me wrong, autism is hard and every single day I wish life wasn't so hard for my daughter and my family. But there are wonderful parts too and I'm pretty sure that I couldn't have the good without the bad. (And I'm just not I'm willing to chance it....) My daughter is amazing. And we have been so very blessed to be given this gift.
