My Struggle and My Real Weight


     I'm on a weight loss journey--most of you know that. You may or may not have noticed that I haven't posted nor tweeted my results in awhile. It's true that I've had other things going on and on my mind but the real reason is because well... I've fallen off the wagon.
     I mentioned in the last weight loss post that I had been struggling BUT was rallying. But the fact is that I haven't rallied--not in any real way. I hate to admit this but it's been almost six weeks since I've really been on track. In that time I've lost and gained the same two tenths of a pound. That is until last week....

     Bloggy Boot Camp and a week of dining out, drinking cocktails and "tasting" desserts tipped the literal scale. That fine line I had been walking between not-eating-what-I-should-but-not-so-badly-that-the-scale-and-my-jeans-show-it and flat out binging had been fading but I was still half-heartedly trying to keep myself in check.
     I would really like to delude myself and say that it's water weight but the fact is that I didn't do the one fundamental thing that allows me to stay in control. I didn't track what I was eating.
     It goes deeper than that. I don't know why I can stick with a "diet" for awhile and then just like a switch being flipped in my mind, I just CAN'T! I don't know why. If I did I could probably solve the world's weight issues.
     So what does that mean for me? Well, today (Thursday) is day one, back on program. I tracked what I ate all day. EVERY. SINGLE. THING--including the piece of pecan pie I had this afternoon (and it was totally worth the 14 points that it cost me)! And as I sit here typing this post I know that I'm not really hungry but I want... something! And if I knew what it was I would eat it because blowing the points is so much easier than sitting here with this dissatisfied, empty feeling.

Does it ever get easier?


Current Weight:  281.8 lbs.            Weight Loss:  27.4 lbs. 

Peace Out!
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