Contraceptives and Preschoolers

       I have a hate/hate relationship with contraceptives. I hate them. I've always hated them. Condoms are embarrassing and icky. The pill is ineffective inconvenient. The rhythm method's ludicrous. And frankly I just don't like the idea of putting a floating metal (now plastic) device in my nether regions that might possibly embed itself into the wall of my uterus causing all kinds of issues. And does anyone even know what a diaphragm is anymore? It just reminds me that if men were responsible for the incubation and the birthing of children they would have found better ways of preventing pregnancy (and STDs) by now.

       But alas...unless you have made the decision to not have (anymore) children and have chosen surgical sterilization and it's only 96% effective, the pill is 99% effective and we all know how that turned out! the options listed above are pretty much your only options. (And my maternal grandmother will tell you she conceived a child using every, single method listed above. She had six kids total.)
       This contraceptive rant may seem to be coming out of left field and you might wonder what's it all about? Well, today's rant is brought to you by my younger brother--Unka Joe! You see Unka Joe came by to enjoy the Labor Day festivities with us, meaning it was easier to come over to our house and sit in our yard than fight the crowds on our town's main drag. It's nice that we live at the end of the parade route; we not only get a ton of candy but my kids don't have to fight the mad horde of children for it. 
       But I digress....
       At some point, Unka Joe* used the bathroom and left something for my dogs to find.
       The new puppy Cookie, found the condom on the floor of the bathroom and because she is a puppy she promptly picked up and started chewing on it. The children, upon discovering that Cookie was chewing on something sorta akin to bubble gum, went in after it. Enter the Mommy. I am watching my children playing tug-o-war with Cookie but I can't quite tell what they are both tugging on--it's kind of like a rubber band. Just as soon as I get close enough to investigate the "rubber band" snaps and both Logan and Cookie are sent flying; both of them howling over the little pink welt that is coming up on finger and nose, respectively.
       It is only after I fish out the slimy remnants from the dog's mouth and Logan's clenched fist that I realize what they have been tugging on. I gotta say I was more than a little impressed with the "durability" of the condom. There was some serious give--they had that thing stretched out probably 3 feet before it snapped!
       Thankfully my kids are too young for me to have to explain what a condom is or what it's used for. And (more importantly) thankfully my husband trusts me because if he wasn't so trusting it might have been difficult to explain why there was a condom in the house to begin with.
Well I hope ya'll had a great Labor Day weekend!
Come back tomorrow and hear more about our holiday weekend.
*BTW Unka Joe is a single adult and we are very happy to know that Unka Joe is responsible and uses safer sex practices. Pin It
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